Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And then he peed in my hair
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