Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
