If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
