Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
