id be glad to
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
