So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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