Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
