Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
