Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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