so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
