Sponge bath it is.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am spending my child support on dildos
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
