Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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