You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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