Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
