Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
