No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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