I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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