i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
