SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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