Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
