You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
