Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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