I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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