i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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