oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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