its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize