ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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