you have to choose: penises or morals?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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