I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
