BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
