The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize