I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
do nipples grow back?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
