It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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