i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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