So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
