All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
