**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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