Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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