Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize