watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
