I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
