oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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