he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize