i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
