but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
