it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
