How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If I die, sorry about rent.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
