she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
