my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
