Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's Friday. Sex?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
