He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
