When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
