is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
