Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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