He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
