pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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