Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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