Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize