3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
