glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize