TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
