i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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