i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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