too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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