we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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