I am puke
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
