and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
