everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
