In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
