I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
